2005-02-07 [iippo]: My darling, you are a genious.

2005-02-08 [Amtharnis]: ... or a Djinni arse ^^ Fanks.

2005-02-08 [iippo]: *is still waiting for this to be continued* ^_^ Nope, Genius.

2005-02-09 [Amtharnis]: I see that I am also uber... I'm a uber genius. Not sure what an uber is... but anyway ^^ How many ubers does it take to change a lightbulb?

2005-02-09 [iippo]: A half, because [Kayne] can do it with one hand.

2005-02-09 [Kayne]: *Pokes*

2005-02-09 [Amtharnis]: Sounds like kayne is abel.

2005-02-09 [Kayne]: Abel?

2005-02-09 [iippo]: Why does kayne sound abel?! O.O I think I gets it. Darling, I'll tell you what uber is if you tell me what abel is.

2005-02-09 [Amtharnis]: Abel sounds like able, and in the bible Abel was Cain's brother. So it is a play on words able->abel->kayne->cain. Now tell me about Adam and Uber.

2005-02-09 [iippo]: ^_^ I just love the way your brain works. Uber is german, it means very. So if something is uber cool, it is very cool. But then uber and cool wanted to go their separate ways (they didn't have enough time for each other but I don't think that was the real reason) and cool returned to his solitarity (sometimes appearing under the alias coo') and uber began her life as a solo-act.

2005-02-09 [Amtharnis]: Funny, that is exactly what those scientists said. Oh, I always thought Uber was the buxom, German house-maid who came round to your house and did the vacuum cleaning. Another fantasy destroyed by fact :S Do you happen to know what the german word for vacuum cleaner is. I remember doing German in school for one semester and that the word for vacuum cleaner was very funny ^^

2005-02-09 [Amtharnis]: Back to Uber - not the house-maid Uber - kayne would be uber abel.

2005-02-09 [iippo]: I dunno about no vacuum cleaner, but the murderer who was captured in the kangaroo-cage that was covered with a cloth is a very uber word. I never did german. Luckily. It is not very friendly on the ears, that language. Nor the face, if the person speaking it is right in front of you and speaking very eagerly, you are going to need some kind of protection against splatter.

2005-02-09 [Amtharnis]: There is an interesting program on television at the moment called the Adventure of English. It is a funny thing, that proto-English was brought to England by germanic tribes, and then these tribes were invaded by Norsemen who spoke French, which is not that unbelievable for it sounds a lot like something a few Swedes I know would probably do - "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if we invaded England and spoke French." I believe they also tried to invade Ireland speaking Spainish, but the Irish started speaking Russian and so it got cancelled out.

2005-02-09 [Amtharnis]: Anyway, French was actually the official language of England for some time, and I was surprised to learn how many french words there are in the English language.

2005-02-09 [iippo]: Yeah. French are pretty much to blame with all the anomalities in the English language. But why french-speaking norsemen.

2005-02-09 [Amtharnis]: well, before they invaded England, the Normans went and had their hair cut. It was such a bad hair cut and they were so embarassed that when they arrived in England they pretended to be French - no one would take any notice of the French having funny hair cuts, but they would really make fun of you if you were a Norman. Have a look at the pictures of the Normans if you want to see how bad a haircut it was.

2005-02-09 [Amtharnis]: That is also how they won the Battle of the Hastings - the Saxons couldn't stop laughing long enough. Have you ever tried to swing a gruddy great axe when you are splitting your sides with laughter?

2005-02-09 [iippo]: If only the smart-but-hopelessly-drunk Finnish Normans would have conquered Britain, my life here would be so much easier... Then Finnish would be the ruling language, and you could sound intelligent speaking with all the fine tonar qualities of Finnish language when you continue your explanation of these Normen and their terribly planned ship, which was done by their barber.

2005-02-09 [Amtharnis]: Cockney Finnish would be very interesting to hear.

2005-02-10 [iippo]: I once asked a British guy what is the London-accent called, and he said "cocky"... Love it! He tried to fix his blunder later, but I said 'nope, cocky it is'. There is a finnish cocky accent, though...

2005-02-10 [Amtharnis]: I suggest you don't run around London asking where the cockies are though. In Australia you would get away with it, because everyone would assume you meant cockatoos.

2005-02-10 [iippo]: *had to google 'cockatoo' to understand* Well, I'll run around in Birmingham asking that, they'll love it... ^_^ What would I not get away with in Australia?

2005-02-11 [Amtharnis]: Well, that is one way to get attention from the locals. Um, in Australia, you'd probably get a similar reaction if you went around telling everyone you were Randy. Randy is a name in America, but few people are given it as a christian name in Australia. People wouldn't blink an eye at you though if you said you felt like a cocky on a biscuit tin.

2005-02-11 [iippo]: XD Sounds good. *plans on doing so* You have 4 watchers: Me, you, kayne and...? Who?!

2005-02-11 [Amtharnis]: I don't know who the fourth watcher is. Come fourth, the fourth watcher and show yourself!

2005-02-11 [iippo]: I sorta think that it could be [windowframe], because she has a habit of watching everything... but then again, it could be someone from the jokers of elftown.

2005-02-11 [Amtharnis]: Haven't noticed that name around, and I have never had any messages from that wiki place. It might be one of my relations... or a stalker... or god. It is easy to tell who is watching your house - you switch a few commas around in your description or upload a new picture several times and watch the names in the visitors list.

2005-02-11 [thuthuca]: *the fourth watcher appears* ^_^

2005-02-11 [Amtharnis]: Ahaa! I hope this doesn't mean that Armageddon is about to happen. It was five riders, not four watchers if I recall correctly. I hope... *cries* I don't want to die! Not until I have a chance to be a little more sinful anyway.

2005-02-11 [Amtharnis]: Some slueth you are, Ippo. It was thuthuca all along... and you didn't have a clue *takes Ippo's slueth badge off her*

2005-02-11 [iippo]: Thuthuca! Crikey, I shouldave known! ("Gimme back mah badge!" *cries*) It is El Greco, he goes to all the wikis I link to. But Amtharnis m'dear, what are you saying?! You are not acquainted with [windowframe]?? I thought she was like an ET celebrity or something... *is shocked* Anyway, you and her share at least one thing. And that is... being on my list of uberness! iippo's who's who.

2005-02-11 [Amtharnis]: Well, that is typical me - so absorbed in my own uberness that I don't notice any other ubers. I will give your slueth badge back, but consider yourself under probation. Next time you better get it right.

2005-02-11 [iippo]: *hangeths head in shame as shakes Ammie's hand and his silverware fall out of her sleeves* I pwomise to be a goo' girl.

2005-02-11 [thuthuca]: sorry iippo for causing you to lose that priceless badge... FORGIVE ME! IM THE SOURCE OF EVIL *kneels remorseful*

2005-02-11 [iippo]: Quite arrite darling.

2005-02-11 [thuthuca]: *sniff*

2005-03-02 [iippo]: Haa, that's a nice one... *wants to go biking*

2005-03-04 [thuthuca]: I didn't get it... *feels stupido*

2005-03-07 [iippo]: ADD-people can't stay focused on stuff...

2005-03-07 [thuthuca]: @.@

2005-03-07 [iippo]: I think ADD is slightly bogus. I mean, there are people who do suffer from it, but some people say they have it when they really don't... it's a social disease... people don't like being normal (young people that is) and to them it's cool to have a mental disorder of some kind... >.o

2005-03-07 [iippo]: But the joke is very funny. Makes me think of this Flash-animation squirrel I saw...

2005-03-07 [thuthuca]: I agree, although I've never heard about ADD. And... FLash squirrel??? O.o

2005-03-07 [iippo]: I'll find the link. It's really funny.

2005-03-07 [iippo]: It is in http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html   fuuuunny funny squirrel.

2005-03-10 [Angelic Eyes]: LMAO! your silly

2005-03-10 [thuthuca]: iippo, someone here called you silly. Should I shoot her? *wears black sunglasses and black suit as every proper bodyguard should do* :P

2005-03-10 [Amtharnis]: I think she was referring to me actually ^^ Don't shoot her - she's an angel!

2005-03-10 [thuthuca]: Ok ok, I'm iippo's bodyguard. Without payment I don't shoot any of your fans. *straightens the sunglasses* :OD

2005-03-10 [Kayne]: iippo doesn't need 2 bodyguards. Her husband is well up to the task.

2005-03-10 [thuthuca]: *muttermuttersomeone'sjealusmuttermutter* :oP I'm a proffesional bodyguard, you are the husband-free working one. :θ)

2005-03-10 [Kayne]: You don'tget paid. You can however work for free.

2005-03-10 [thuthuca]: Well, yes I didn't get paid yet... But I represent my abilities to get hired. Do you know how difficult it is to find a proper job nowadays? :(

2005-03-10 [Kayne]: *Huggels*

2005-03-10 [thuthuca]: Boo hoo hoo... I'm just a lonely unemployed bloodthirsty cruel bodyguard that shoots people at every opportunity. Why can't you people unterstand me...

2005-03-11 [iippo]: How nice, you two are getting along nicely... I'll leave you to it... *bursts out laughing because watched Kal Ho Na Hoo yesterday and there this old lady keeps thinking that SRK and that other guy are lovers and she is very upset about it... w00t, that film pwns so much*

2005-03-11 [thuthuca]: Hm... did she she just implied something about us kayne or it was just my idea??? ö.Ο *pokes splotchy iippo*

2005-03-11 [iippo]: Oi splotchy, I'm not that, you have to come up with your own nickname for me. And yep. But don't worry, I'm far more intrigued by the scenes with Shah Rukh Khan than with you and kayne...

2005-03-11 [thuthuca]: Yes, you are mean. kayne and I are just sooooo innocent... *puppy eyes* @.@

2005-03-11 [iippo]: Yes you two are just "friends" I know I know, I've heard it all before. See what you did, now I'm absolutely obsessed with SRK. *goes to musicindiaonline.com to look at pictures of SRK*

2005-03-11 [Kayne]: anti gay-marriage

2005-03-11 [iippo]: No one suggested that you'd marry thuthie. That would be bigamy dear, and that is illegal - yes, even in ET.

2005-03-11 [Kayne]: So, I can't marry C.B. later?

2005-03-11 [iippo]: She isn't in ET. So that doesn't count if you marry her in RL. As long as you don't marry her in here.

2005-03-11 [Kayne]: But what if she comes here?

2005-03-12 [iippo]: If she does, then you just Don't marry her. :\ par.

2005-03-13 [Kayne]: *Deals.*

2005-03-14 [iippo]: I kinda like this par-thing that Silve accidentally introduced me to... I'm going to incorporate it into my ETish (and maybe Real) speech.

2005-03-14 [iippo]: ((That does not mean I will accept paring when I'm in EasyMessage. It still annoys the hell out of me there.))

2005-03-14 [thuthuca]: Par? reminds me of golf...

2005-03-15 [iippo]: Damn it. I pressed the "under wiki changes" becasue I didn't have time to explain, and now I had forgotten I did that and came back and I still don't have time.

2005-03-22 [Jewl]: I have one... How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2005-03-22 [Jewl]: A. 11 one to hold it and 10 to drink till the room spins. or B. 5 one to screw it in, and four to talk about how good the old 'bulb was...

2005-03-22 [Jewl]: And no, I'm not 'against' irsh people, I AM irish.

2005-03-22 [iippo]: Well, that I think is A) Universal, not just ETeyly, and B) Heard before.

2005-03-22 [Jewl]: *shrug*

2005-03-22 [thuthuca]: But the ADD thing is also Universal... Should both enter the page or both be deleted to be fair.

2005-03-22 [thuthuca]: Now I see there are more universal out there... O.o

2005-03-23 [iippo]: The thing is, there is loads and loads of n00by kids in ET who think that having a mental disorder is cool, so they say "I have ADD" to get attention. It's not the real ADD-cases that the joke makes fun of, because they really can't help it. It's the same with "girls who kiss girls" - A lot of angsty teens say they are bi, to get attention and to feel special and different. Same with the bush haters/supporters - the real ones go about minding their business and voting in the actual election, the ones in ET who make all those pro/anti -wikis are the frustrated people who want to voice their opinion over and over again because they like to listen to their own voice.

2005-03-23 [iippo]: The ones about the different nationalities are all out in the Real World, but this is the ET-jokes, the ones that won't work in the offline life. Means, if you aren't in ET, you wouldn't have a clue what was so funny about the scorched_chic thingie... *expects Amtharnis to come slap her... aaany minute now..... it's ok dear.*

2005-03-23 [Amtharnis]: Someone added the EMO one without my knowing. If people wish to add their own jokes, please put yourself as the author instead of putting it in my own list and making me look like the author. That is why I added the section for other members. I wish only to get in trouble for the jokes I make ;)

2005-03-23 [Amtharnis]: Anyone may add their own Elftown joke under the 'by other members heading'.

2005-03-23 [Amtharnis]: Ippo is also correct in that all my Elftown Lightbulb Jokes relate to the minority groups that seem to have arisen in Elftown. I don't mind the irish one though, if you want to put it up, Jewl. It is not like I was being very serious on this page or anything, so the only jokes that people add that I will remove are those who people put in my own section, or those which I find inappropriate.

2005-03-23 [iippo]: [Kealey] edited the page for the emo-one.

2005-03-23 [Jewl]: Heh, I see. Well then, here's a funny one. Q) how many True Elftown artists does it take to change a lightbulb? A) No one knows, documents of true artists in elftown are vanishing by the second.

2005-03-23 [Jewl]: *sigh* Not really funny... *bangs head against keyboard* I'm not in a funny mood.

2005-04-18 [Jewl]: How many 12 year old sluts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?   lik omg i no it jus gimme a sec i membah it....

2005-04-18 [Fireblade K'Chona]: I know. -rolls eyes-

2005-05-12 [Art squall]: sad...

2005-05-12 [Amtharnis]: Who or what are you referring to as being sad, Quiana?

2005-05-12 [iippo]: Ah, I really love the LoTR-one... Oh! Oh! One does not simply walk into Mortor!.

2005-10-18 [nokaredes]: [iippo] told me to do it! *points and runs*

2005-10-21 [Raziel Ahnara]: YAY! I heart this page! ^^ And the one iippo mentioned. ^__^

2006-09-14 [Stray Kitty]: Oh wow. And I thought the ones on the NPR joke show wre good.

2006-10-10 [purelily]: How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it turned itself in.

2006-11-02 [kay-chan]: How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and cry. :P (Now add [this stuff] and crossed out words and spacing strangeness to the answer!)

2006-11-03 [Jewl]: How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

6. One to
cry for it,
one to
[ smash the old one ]
one to
Threaten to kill himself if he has to change it
one to

Blog about it on MySpace

2006-11-03 [moonscale]: Excellent! Are you sure they don't need one more to threaten to kill themselves if it doesn't work?

2006-11-04 [kay-chan]: *hearts [Jewl]*

2006-11-04 [Jewl]: right! XD

2006-11-04 [iippo]: Add them to la page!! XD I personally adore the "How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and cry" -one. :P

2007-08-02 [Tyrana]: [87% of Elftowners would rather repost this lightbulb joke than change the lightbulb. Repost this if you're one of the 13% who will change the damn bulb.]

Oooo... conundrum... :P

2010-08-24 [Alechaos Ogigio]: how many priests does it take to change a light bulb?
       nun!